The First and Last Chance
by hovergirl
Summary: What if you only had one chance to make things right? And what if it all went wrong? *Mild S/R Slash*


SNR

**Title:** The First and Last Chance

**Summary: **Sirius puts the moves on Remus one lonely night in the common room…

**Dedicated to: **My mother, whom I know would be so proud of me if she knew I was writing slash to pass the time.

**Song Listened to While Writing It:** "Digital Love" by Daft Punk.Everybody, please go listen to this song right now.

**Written Under the Influence of: **Extreme starvation

**Caution: **!Contents contain lukewarm slash!

_ _

_Last night, I had a dream about you_

_In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you_

_And it looked like everyone was havin' fun_

_The kind of feeling, I've waited so long_

_Don't stop, come a little closer_

_As we jam, the rhythm gets stronger_

_There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun_

_We were dancing all night long_

_The time is right to put my arms around you_

_You're feeling right, you wrap your arms around too_

_But suddenly, I feel the shining sun_

_Before I know it, this dream was all gone_

_Oh, I don't know what to do_

_About this dream and you_

_I wish this dream comes true_

**-Daft Punk, "Digital Love"**

Remus and Sirius sat at a quiet table in the common room, diligently completing their schoolwork (more or less).James had gone out for a walk with Lily an hour ago, and Peter was likely to be found snooping around the school in rat form.This meant that Sirius and Remus were alone, seeing as everyone else in Gryffindor was sound asleep in their dorms.

Sirius scribbled the answer to number fifteen wearily, and looked up at his work companion with tired, unfocused eyes.He gave a barely audible sigh at the sight of his friend, who was hard at work and didn't even glance up from his parchment once.Sirius vaguely wondered how anybody could be so focused at the task at hand.He, personally, couldn't stop thinking about other things on his mind…

He looked down at his paper, leaned his chin in the palm of his hand, and took a deep, exasperated breath.He stared at Remus, still completely focused on his work.Sirius coughed quietly.Remus did not look up.Sirius coughed a little louder.Still nothing.Finally, he got out of his seat, pulled his chair around to the other side of the table, and sat down next to his oblivious friend.

"Oi, Wolfman," Sirius joked, "What did you get for number sixteen?"

"I'd appreciate if you didn't call me that," Remus said mildly without looking up, but all the same, he pushed his paper over so Sirius could copy.

Sirius ignored the gesture, and continued to gaze at the teenage boy sitting next to him.Could he possibly…?Remus looked up at him with a questioning expression on his young, yet hard features.

"Are you going to do it or what?" he asked, indicating the paper he had pushed towards Sirius.

Sirius was silent for a moment while looking into Remus' light brown eyes.His heart was racing as he thought to himself, _…if only I could… _

After a long moment of staring blankly at one another, Remus went back to his work.His hand seemed very unstable as he loaded his quill and began to write furiously fast on the parchment in front of him.Sirius listened to the scratching of the quill for a minute, feeling as if he wasn't actually hearing it, but rather, dreaming it.His mind felt heavy with tiredness, but it was strangely alert of the moment._What am I doing…? _he thought.

Remus glanced nervously over at Sirius, who was staring at him with a look of sudden determination.He swallowed hard, and felt his hand grasp his quill more tightly.He felt his feelings switching back and forth from wonderful to horrible, and it was making him incredibly nervous.

_Was this what he thought it was…? _

Sirius was closing the space between them slowly, and they were barely a foot apart now.Remus blinked.Six inches…five inches…four inches…until…

The portrait hole opened suddenly and loud laughter came through, sending them both about a foot off of their seats.A boy and a girl walked in, smiling and holding hands.Sirius banged his head on the table painfully as the two strolled into the common room and over to where he and Remus were sitting.

"James…Lily," Remus said, trying desperately to mask the intense disappointment in his voice. 

James' gaze passed over the two of them, and mercifully, there wasn't any suspicion in his dark brown eyes."You two are up late," he commented nonchalantly, "Still working?"

Sirius looked up, picked up his paper, and said with what he hoped was a convincing smile, "Done."He did a good job of covering up his feelings at that moment, which was fortunate.If he hadn't, they would have seen his heart breaking.

But, for fear that he couldn't hold it in much longer, he got up and set off at a fast walk towards the boys' dormitories.

He ripped open the curtains to his four-poster, closed them again, and sat down with his legs sticking stiffly out in front of him like a little boy.A minute later, he heard the door open and heard the sounds of James putting on his bedclothes.He heard him yawn loudly from a little ways away, then heard footsteps coming closer to his bed from across the room.

James stood for a minute, staring at the red curtain hanging around Sirius' bed, separating him and his best friend—made out of such thin fabric, but closing him off like a brick wall.

"Sirius…" James said quizzically, "…anything wrong?"

"Nope," Sirius replied in what he hoped was a normal voice, and wiped his eye with the back of his hand.They both knew he was lying, but both pretended he wasn't.

***

Sirius sat in his damp stone cell, all the horrible feelings he had felt back then flooding back to him.He had only been in Azkaban a couple of days, and yet he felt like he had been stuck in that cell for years.Or maybe time went more slowly in this place, and he really _had_ been there for years, but in the outside world, only a week or so had passed…

He sat there turning all his thoughts over and over in his mind until he eventually came to the place he had started.But the thought that stuck out most of all was a nagging voice in the back of his head, always reminding him:

I never got another chance… 


End file.
